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| well this update is dedicated to miss elisabeth silva hehe i love you girl
anyways whats been going on in my life? wayyy too much. this whole week has been insane
monday and tuesday evenings i took my GED test which i thought was wicked easy and i'm pretty confident that i passed. i took it with alli g. so we got to hang out for a while before and its been like a month since we last did. ha that was when my car broke down :) but obv. its fixed now and i'm soooo happy cause my car is like my child.
i'm working at hollister now which is pretty awesome i love that place and the people are wicked nice there. people are telling me like "oh theres a stict dress code" and yada yada but really.. thats how i dress everyday. i have to wear flip flops *for the most part* jeans and a normal hollister style shirt. and if its not hollister it can't have the other company's name like logoed across it. not too bad if you ask me.
sooo now i have like 4 jobs: cape cod embroidery, compulsive cleaners, childcare at the church once a week and hollister. youd think itd be hard to keep up with... but its really not.
i'm going to be going to 4c's in january and i want to go to an art school for two years after that then transfer to FL the next two years. move down there and hopefully open a photography/outdoor audio store with aaron. i would love to travel and take pictures of everything. not just one thing.. like i don't want to be labeled as a wedding, nature or scenic photographer. i want everythingggg
so its gonna be wicked awesome
anyways i need a new phone... mines dying but if i want to get a new one upgrade with sprint and all in dec. its gonna be like.. a hundred dollars which i really can't spare. i feel like all i do is need things that i dont have enough money for. its insane. i feel like i can't keep up with my friends lives and i feel soo bad. it also doesn't help that my 3 best friends live out of state. but i've been able to get together and talk with like sarah and derek lately so thats good :) but those like jess and alli and beth and joel and colleen and the list goes on its just so hard to make anything work and i hate it. but i do need to work. i know that. gah anyways
well i guess i'll wrap this up
the cell's always on and for the most part i answer it unless i'm working or in a conversation with someone else
hit me up sometime to catch up
<33
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| i think its that time again
time for me to write...
ok lets see in my life whats going on...
my cars broken. water pump thingy. has been for a week now which leaves me in an already depressing mood. then i'm not living in my room. i'm in the space by the fridge in the basement.sleeping on the couch down there. its wonderful. thats been going on for a week too. i kinda like having my own space but its a pain getting ready in the morning.
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to add to my depression, most of you dont' know this cause i havne't talked to you guys in like.. forever.. but i've been getting wicked close to this guy aaron, yea i heard before that he wasn't such a good guy and all but hes totally not like that at all. i would know. so yea he and i have been spending like everyday together for the past 2 months and to put it plainly hes the one person who knows the most about me and is my best friend. if you guys met him youd love him anyways.. hes leaving tomorrow to go back to FL. just found this out yesterday. so i'm wicked depressed about that. idk when hes coming back, he doesn't know but i hope its soon...
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good news? i got to see colleen today which was wicked awesome cause its been like.. a few months at least and it was like at.. the old homegroup reunion potluck thing which was wicked awesome to see everyone there i've missed it so much
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more goodness, just 2 weeks ago i thought i would never be able to pick up my bible let alone pray again. then God kinda was like *BAM* as is His usual way of doing things to ppl who don't want it done and i got sick with an extremely sore throught, massive headache, sore everywhere, AND poisin ivy. great huh? so he pretty much was just like ok break time, stop running from me and read your bible and i did and it was awesome. i feel like i can conquer the world now and its just.. its just amazing to put it simply cause i've been struggling with this for over a year.
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its weird... the people who just a month ago i thought absolutly hated my guts have been coming out of the woodworks and 1. forgiving me and 2. apologizing and its friggin AWESOME. i feel like such a retard tho cause i didn't have the guts to go to it first, but what can ya do?
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so i'm at a crossroads. with aaron gone, i have three options on how to live my life now;;
1. go back to the church group, which i actually can do now without awkwardness, and put some effort into a ministry there but i don't know how i can thrive in that enviornment casue i havn'et for the past 2 years
2. go back and get into the trouble i got into in august which i know would only dig my hole deeper and theres plenty of ppl who would kill me if i ever did that again
3. start something completely new.
aaron has basically been keeping me in line since august, and i can't let him down by going back to option 2. so thast out of the question. 1? idk.. i probably should do that, it would be the best thing and 3? what hte heck would i do instead? should i jsut take the rest of this year to work and find myself? i'm thinking yes... maybe i won't go to college in Jan.... wow.. i never even considered that... i could take the year, find myself, earn enough money, build my photography portfolio
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ok well i think its getting late enough and i've let out just about all i really can let out
so i'm gonna peace on this one
<33
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| just reading my last blog... good gracious that seems like forever ago.. everything has changed since then
for instance.. most the people who are gonna get this update thing won't even care when they used to be my closest friends.. crazy how life is
and i'm waiting for my parents to get done talking to this guy who i used to not be allowed to talk to.. and now hes the only one i seem to be allowed to hang out with
i've tried a couple of things over the summer.. loved most of it.. hated the other half.
i havne't seen my two bestest friends in soo long.. kristen and jeanne.. miss them soo much..
the people in the church who i just started getting close to left for college all within a week of each other
theres only 3 people i actually want to hang out with of the contacts in my cell phone.. insanity
my family means so much to me.. and i'm only now begining to realize that they're the only ones who will ever be there for me no matter what.. so its pretty important i keep them around and don't do something stupid that might force me to my knees with them
speaking of knees... i'm numb. no you werne't supposed to understand that.
anyways. i'll continue waiting and let you all get back to your... well whatever you were doing before you stopped to take the time to read this.. heh.. good night all
<3
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| yea.. bored.. i was supposed to go to hyannis with dave this morning.. but that dind't work out.. so i went to the mall by myself.. bought a few things..got a smoothie.. yum.. then i went to the train station to say hi to matt and josh.. matt was nice to me. josh pushed me out the door. lol. oh and i got lost trying to get to the train station.. then on the way home.. so crazy.. anyways i'm sitting here now.. waiting for spiderman 3 to get over cause lindsay, juli and sarah are all in there.. i've already seen it.. so i'm gonna meet them at the corner store afterwards. and i need to put gas in the car. i need to call the theater back for that job.. get hte scheduling stuff down pat.. oh yes i'm gonna work at the entertainment cinemas in south dennis.. dunno when i start.. and i think i'm gonna do cleaning with a family friend on saturdays.. 9-3.. and will still be working at the embroidery shop. i need the money. i need gas for the car. and a good camera. .and a laptop.. sooo yea.. 3 jobs should do it.. lol anyways.. i'm gonna go. find something to do.. yes yes.. farewell all.
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| So this has not been writ in in a while.. i think writ is a word.. it sounds cool anyways.. yes yes.. ok i have not writ in this in a while so there for i shall write.
I have a new email address... paperXOhearts49@comcast.net.. so yes add me if you don't have it.. randomly thought of that... lets see.. more random thoughts..
I'm taking my road test friday at 9:30. i have a strong feeling i will fail. sooo unless i tell you straight up.. don't ask how it went.. lest i burst into tears.. whats got me jitterin is the parallel parking.. and the turning.. i might forget to use my signal.. and i might not turn the way he wants me to turn.. for instance if he says left i might go right... and i might not back up in a straight line right... theres just all these horror things i'm imagining.. anyways moving on
I've found i can illegally download music using limewire. i know. i must get rid of it.. but i would only do that because it crashed our last computer. aww fudgecycle. my mom already deleted it. new thought
My myspace is pretty.. i like the song.. i like the about me section.. i just like it. alot.
We had spagetti for dinner. with meatballs..
I'm texting Dave right now. he just bought me something. but i don't know what it is.. says its a surprise.. hmm hmm.. soo ok anyways i won't lie. I pretty much love him. to infinity and beyond. hehe..
My family is watching M*A*S*H right now. i love that show. ok so
I'm really bored. Josh and i watched lame video's on youtube last night. pretty interresting. ha.. ok heres the link to one --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V6ELez1trg hahah soo soo funny... gotta love it
I'm in a whatever mood... like.. i just exist.. can't decide whether i like it or not... big things don't seem so big anymore but the little things seem like just.. in your face big.. idk.. anyways
Ok i'm gonna end this one now. Talk to YOU all LATER. ~Ally x3~
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